I am making this page to hopefully change the world. I've converted many men concerning the stupidity of women, but it isn't enough. Most men on this planet (i.e. the U.S.) walk around adoring women for no reason, ignoring their bitchiness, selfishness, and all other squalid traits of humanity that they inherently possess. The only thing that this accomplishes is to reward their behavior and perpetuate the unbearableness of the female gender. It is now time for a change. I shall now argue that women are unacceptable beings. Then, I will argue that being able to look, touch, smell, and feel their bodies is not worth dealing with their unacceptableness (this will be my most formidable task). Finally, I will lay out a step-by-step program to transform that horrendous gender into something that I can talk to and hang out with without losing all faith in women and even humanity in general.

1. The Girls That Started It All: Now, I didn't hate females until after high school. In fact, I think that other than one male friend in middle school, I had nothing but female friends. Even in high school, I had at least as many female friends as male friends, if not more. But, unfortunately, I have standards for humanity. They broke them. No male I have ever known personally has come close to breaking them. Surmounting evidence over the years has led me to believe that females are undeniably evil creatures. After these first few experiences, female evil became a faceless blur. But, these are the women that forced this truth upon me.
   1. N., M., and the F. Club:
      • Not only were they mean and heartless, they also decided to focus their hatred on one human being. Granted, she may not have been the easiest person in the world to get along with, but no one deserves the concentrated hatred of a band of cold-hearted females. They said such horrible things about her one day, it left me sobbing so uncontrollably that my chemistry teacher had to hide me away until I calmed down. How can humans be so cruel? Well, they were female.
      • Despite their boundless cruelty, they were adored and sought-after by other females.
   2. M.:
      • She invites you to her house to hang out all the time, but rolls her eyes everytime your name is mentioned when you're not there and talks shit about you all the time
      • For a long time, she represented my archetype for female evil. But, she would soon be replaced.
   3. R.:
      • She completely flirts with MY FRIEND with no intention of doing anything with him and makes fun of him behind his back
      • She breaks up with MY FRIEND out of nowhere by making up some stupid excuse about concentrating on school. She couldn't even think of anything better than that.
      • She acts like a complete happy, perky idiot no matter how she feels which may not be something to despise her over, but it's just stupid.
   4. M.:
      • She hated me, which is fine, except that when I was interviewing to join a club where she was an officer, she was at my interview and got behind me and started making faces behind my back. So, I was sitting there trying to answer questions when my interviewer was trying to be nice but blurting out little uncontrollable laughs between questions.
   5. K.:
      • She cries when she spills lotion on her pajamas
      • She tries to get rich guy friends to pay her college tuition
      • My friend put a password on his computer so she wouldn't have access to it, and he told me what it was. Moments later, we see her logging into his computer with the overheard password.
   6. C.:
      • She tries to get her friends to hate you and gets mad at them when they say, "hi" to you
      • She actually likes being called a princess
2. Random Annoyances
   1. My friend loses some weight and all of a sudden million of chicks want to fuck him where before no one actively pursued him.
   2. Chicks Who Can't Ride Motorcycles: She sees a bunch of cars stopped, but tries to pass them at a speed that is in no way legal, hitting me in the process even though the whole other side of the street was completely empty as far as you can see and even though bikes only need a few feet to brake. Clearly she had no idea how to ride since she was in a pretty, shiny, new, red, racer-looking bike with a pretty, shiny, new, matching helmet. Then, she goes and tries to get her insurance people after me and wants to discuss the damages I CAUSED HER. EVEN THOUGH the thing she was most concerned about when she hit me was her stupid JEANS. And why was she concerned? BECAUSE THEY WERE PRISTINE. No blood stains, no scratches. She wouldn't even let the EMT's look at her knees which she was complaining all over the place about because she didn't want her jeans to be cut up. And now, she thinks I owe her.
   3. The Bus: Public transportation gets really crowded sometimes. This is why, you should get up and offer your seat to old people carrying around a bunch of groceries even if you have to go out of your way to do so since no one else is getting up. GIRLS TRY TO STEAL YOUR SEAT WHEN YOU'RE CALLING OVER SOME POOR OLD LADY IN THE FRONT OF THE BUS SO SHE CAN SIT HER ASS DOWN. Why do they do this? They are selfish bitches.
   4. The Post Office: You are waiting for the mail pick-up window to open. You are clearly standing there waiting, but are a little stupid and aren't in exactly the right spot where the line starts. A girl walks straight pass you to stand in that spot. You look a little stupid and realize where you need to be, so you get behind her in line. She completely ignores you and gets her package. Now, this is slightly understandable because I wasn't technically in line, but I'm pretty sure that any guy would have at least asked me if I was supposed to be waiting in that line. Maybe he just wants to fuck me, and that's kind of sleazy, but it's still nice I guess (even with ulterior motives). The least women could do when they get treated this nicely all the time is to maybe return the favor and not be such COMPLETE AND TOTAL BITCHES.
   5. McDonald's: Girl was sitting on what looked like a date, both of them eating a "premium salad" with chicken mcnuggets on top (I'm assuming that the guy ate it because she either wanted him to, or thought it would impress her, which would be another way girls are stupid, but I'm not sure). And, she was talking non-stop about really useless things forever and ever while he just had to endure. Meanwhile, he was shuffling in his seat, very clearly bored, but Girl kept on going on about nothing because GIRLS TALK WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT NOTHING AND EVERYONE HAS TO ACT INTERESTED OR SHE GETS MAD OR DOESN'T FUCK THEM.
   6. Cell Phones: They always say really mean shit about other people on the phone. ALWAYS.

1. Oh, the Stupidity of Girls
   1. Big huge belts that don't even fit in belt loops so they're just sitting sideways on your hips
   2. Buying into sleazy diamond commercials that equate consumerism-stupidity concerning rationed-out monopoly-owned raw materials with love
   3. Always going after the jerk
   4. Always being shitty to the nice guy
   5. And, what the fuck is up with weddings
   6. Totally focusing on your worst traits and circumstances and gloating about them

I swear that if I wasn't sexually attracted to girls that I'd be gay. At least guys make sense most the time.

First off, girls just talk way too much. When you're with your other girlfriends, go ahead and talk about whatever the fuck you want. I don't care. But why exactly do you think that I care about the kind of day that your sisters co-workers dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don't know her co-worker and I certainly don't know her dog. So why the fuck are you telling me this story? I don't care! If you have something worth talking about, then I can enjoy engaging you in a meaningful conversation. But before you start talking to me about some of the inane frivolous shit that you talk to your girlfriends about, first ask yourself "Does this have a point?". Because if it doesn't I'm just going to smile, and nod, and zone out and you'll get mad because I'm not listening to your retarded shit!

Stop over complicating everything. There isn't an ulterior motive or hidden meaning in every other sentance. Unless, I suppose, it's coming out of the mouth of another woman. Because you ladies never can seem to say what you actually mean. You have this weird secret code that you love to try and crack and expect us guys to be able to get in on your stupid game. Guys aren't like that. Rarely rarely RARELY will you ever have to figure out what a guy is actually saying. We say what we mean. Girls have such a skewed sense of logic that this simple concept is often lost on them. When you go searching for some deeper meaning that isn't there, you're just committing to an act of futility. In the end you wind up making up some bullshit and believing that it must be true and acting on that false reality and making a mess of something for no apparent reason other than the fact that you're in-fucking-sane.

Stop getting upset at guys for trying to help solve your problems. That's what guys do. You present us with a problem, we're going to try and fix it. It's in our fucking nature. I know it's in your nature to want to talk about everything, but if you're going to bring up your problems to a guy, expect that he's going to try and do something about it or give you advice. Women always bitch that guys don't listen. It's not that we don't listen, we just don't understand why you're bringing up your problems if you don't want us to do something about it. We're not as empathetic as your girlfriends, so if you want empathy, go to them. Likewise, if guys have a problem, they'll probably only bring it up if they need help or advice. Many women will bitch that guys don't talk enough. It's not that guys don't talk, it's just that your empathy doesn't help solve our problems when we do talk.

One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is the constant reassurance. No, you're not fat. If you were fat you wouldn't be able to fit into that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn't be giving you free shit if you were ugly. (There's an ulterior fucking motive for you. Hint: They're not giving you free stuff just to be sweet.) It's so frustrating having to constantly answer those questions, only to not be believed. It's like trying to convince someone that the sky is blue. You're not blind, you're not even color blind. You can see that the sky is blue. Yet you continue to ask what color the sky is. I tell you it's blue. I know that you know what color blue is. And even though I've told you that the sky is blue about fifty-million times, you still have to ask because...I don't know...maybe it's not blue today. The sky is fucking blue goddammit! You're not fucking fat! You're not fucking ugly! You know it, I know it, everyone fucking knows it!

And fuck all you ultra-hot girls that bitch about the most retarded things. Yeah, all men are fucking pigs because they stare at your boobs. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you're wearing a skin tight low cut shirt that has 'Bebe' printed across your boobs... one 'Be' per boob. It's totally unfair that you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because you like to look sexy. And boo hoo, it's so hard for you to meet a nice guy. Well actually it isn't, because the shoulder your crying on belongs to a nice guy. He's the one that puts up with all your stupid shit. And yet you some how end up with all the assholes. I'm sure that it has nothing to do with the fact that you're holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male fire fighter with a trust fund.

And finally, yay for you. You sold a freezer to some eskimos. Congratulations on being the hot sales rep. We're all very proud of you for being able to have a nice ass while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we're all so excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another rich fucktard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I'll be so surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl. Because I really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. But I'm happy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between your cell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcing the stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. And you're right, I was being a shallow douchebag when I commented on the hotness of Eva Longoria. So lets go see that movie where Johnny Depp makes out with Orlando Bloom on Brad Pitts abs. I know you've been dying to see that one.

Girls...you piss me the fuck off. You do stupid shit and manage to get away with it. You can be the most annoying idiots in the world. Your sense of logic and common sense seems to be a rare gift rather than a common trait. And yet I'm uncontrollably attracted to you. And that's quite possibly the most frustrating thing of all.

Come back to me